Deep thoughts... real deep

My very first blog entry. Wow. I've decided to start writing out the thoughts going through my head throughout this journey. I'm on a mission. I'm done with thigh chafing. I joined weight watchers February 15, 2008 and wow what good I've done for myself. I joined on a whim- a fellow co-worker has been a member for several years, and has suggested/hinted that I join a few times as well. She was about to head off for her weigh in, and I started asking questions re: costs, weigh-in's etc.. I said that I would join next week. no scratch that. I decided to follow with her and join right away. Why delay what I can do today? Hell, I've been delaying this my whole life!! I nervously explained to the leader that I had no desire to know how much I weighed and that if I did I would become obsessed with the number. She was totally cool with that and just took down the digits.

Later that evening, I peeked. YIKES. A whopping 245 lbs! I was litterally twice my moms' size and then some! Now looking back, I'm glad I looked. Yes, it was a total shocker, I mean I knew I was over 200 lbs, but I didn't realize it was that far over! Go figure that I don't have any full-sized mirrors in my home. Out of sight out of mind right?

I'm in my tenth week of membership, and have lost 26.2 lbs! I'm thrilled with my results. I can't believe how far I've come. It's not easy. I won't lie. I can't tell you how many times I've pinched my thighs screaming (in my head of course) " get this fat off of me".

I totally have what I call opposite of anorexia. You don't think you're that fat. No, I'm not that bad. Ya, a little plump, but still ok. WRONG! 245 lbs at 5'2 is not a little plump.

The title of my blog was prompted by a remark that I've been getting that totally irks the $hit out of me. "Hey, I can see you're losing weight. I see it in your face". well then. Thank God my oversized head is getting some rest from the strain!


What to do with me. I get upset when my friends don't notice the loss, and insulted when people do.

What should one respond when another nosy co-worker states the obvious " Hey, I noticed you're losing weight... keep it up!"??? Am I supposed to respond with " Well gee, thanks. I wasn't sure if my thinner bod matched these shoes or not", or how about " Actually I was planning on stopping and doing the opposite. I now aspire to be the fattest woman on the planet, but your words of encouragement will definitely set me in line". Oh thin folk. They just don't get it. I have this rage fire burning in my stomach and they were just trying to be kind.

What to do...