Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ben & Jerry's or Wet T-Shirt Contest?

So apparently the planets have aligned and decided to throw me off of my "Onderland" high horse. I swear it seems like there is a sabotage sign on my back this week. A colleague of mine has just resigned, so logically we must celebrate their departure with cakes, cookies, pizza, ice cream etc... etc.. Well I am always up for a challenge and I did not indulge whatsoever. Ha, take that planets! I love how others try to bring you down with them. I can't count how many people at work are on some sort of diet now. The sad fact is that when others want to give in, they want to take you down with them. There's the " you know, you can have sweets. It's his last day". Like what, by me not having a donut somehow he'll leave the company angry at me for my donut decline? He didn't bake them, he didn't buy them, he doesn't care. Simple right? Then there is the second sabotage line " You've done so well, just have a piece of cake, it won't kill you". No, you're right, it won't kill me, but I'd like keep doing "so well". Misery loves company doesn't it?

I haven't had an " I can see it in your face" moment for a while- until yesterday. One of my colleagues stops me in the copy room, and decides it would then be appropriate to pet at my waist line. " Wow, it's really starting to show". What is starting to show I wonder? Do I look pregnant??? No, she means my weight loss is starting to show. Then, my second favorite " How much have you lost now?" I'm tired of telling people how much I've lost. At the beginning I was thrilled to brag, and now I'm more embarrassed. By telling people how much I've lost, it gives them an idea as to how much more I have to go, and what a mess I was in to begin with. Now because this woman is overweight as well I feel that she could relate, I murmur " oh, about 50 lbs". And then it happened " Yeah, I can see it in your face". My face you say? HAHAHA!!!
We went from grabbing my waist to telling me that the 50 lbs shows in my face, and that it's only NOW starting to show. I know, I know, they were trying to be nice, but those types of remarks really leave an imprint on my mind. Could we not just talk about the fax or photocopy machine or better yet, the water cooler?

Ben & Jerry's are out to get me. Call me paranoid, but there are just too many coincidences:

On my way home, it starts to rain. I didn't have an umbrella, and it started to rain hard. I had to run for cover. The only option available - that's right, you guessed it : Ben & Jerry's. I walked in with full confidence: I'll just pretend to look at the ice cream flavors, and when the rain calms down I will leave. Well, I swing open the door, and the smell of freshly made waffle cones hits me. I had no choice but to run out of there as fast as I could. By the time I got home, my blouse was transparent, and would have won a wet t-shirt contest hands down. Zero competition.

I was out of popcorn, and had to stop by the grocery store. As I make my way down the aisle, something sparkles out of the corner of my eye. And there is a 6 foot poster with the words " four pints of Ben & Jerry's for $9.00". SHOOT ME NOW. Again, I bee-lined out of the grocery store. HA HA! I feel like some sort of super hero with all of the food villains out after me.

I just got back from the store, and my friend calls me to say " Hey, it's free cone day at Ben & Jerry's and I could die for a cone right now, are you in?" I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. For the love of God, may the evil ice cream devil leave me be!

I am happy to say that I declined. Let's see what else gets thrown my way tomorrow. 1 more day until weigh in.

To all those that commented on my ONDERLAND post, thank you ever so much! It really means a lot to me to receive such fantastic feedback.

Butterfly has left the building.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


I did it. I F%^&ING DID IT! I am officially out of the 200+ club. Yes, I still have a ways to go until I hit my goal weight of 135 lbs, but I'm closer now than I was when I started this journey on February 15th. I am on Cloud Nine.

I was so choked when I weighed in this morning. They modified the meeting room, so now we can no longer see the number on the scale as the screen is behind the counter.. Some people don't know how much they weigh, which I understand because at first I did not want to know either.

I stepped up onto the scale, and exhaled (hey, air weighs something right?). The set of eyes behind the counter lit up. " You're down 5.4 this week. This puts you at 197 lbs". I felt the tears well up. I wanted to bawl my eyes out and jump for joy all at the same time. I did it I did it I did it!!!!

February 15, 2008, a very sad girl started her weight loss journey weighing in at 245 lbs, and only standing at 5 feet 2 inches tall. Today, July 26, 2008, that same girl weighs in at 197 lbs (yes, my height has remained the same LOL). YAY, YAY, and.... YAY!!!!!!

I'm aiming to hit my goal weight by my birthday next year. I want to hit my goal on May 22, 2009. I know another 60 lbs is quite ambitious for that date, but I'm going to try to do whatever I can to make it there.

Today is a very happy day.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


Cuba was absolutely amazing. I just can't get over it! We had a blast and I'll never forget this experience. Lucky for me, the food was terrible. Now I say this because I was able to stay on track. Sure the food I did eat wasn't so great, but that didn't keep me away from eating "naughty" things. I only liked the food at the snack bar: burgers, pizza, fries, etc.. I ate these things, but these were the actual meals of my day. We'd spend hours on end in the water swimming, snorkeling, pedal boating, riding the waves and so on. I had enough activity points accumulated for all of us! Because I was so active during the day, I didn't feel bad for eating my "naughty" foods. The heat left us with absolutely no appetites. We drank a lot of water and juices during the day to stay hydrated, but really lacked appetites.

We did two excursions: A catamaran boat trip, and a day tour of Havana. Am I ever happy that we did both! The catamaran was absolutely amazing. We were able to jump off the boat in the middle of the ocean to swim over the coral reef and see the most beautiful fish ever. We then ate lunch on a deserted island which was just fantastic. We feasted on Lobster, Shrimp and Fish. All LP foods! We swam around the coast of the island, and back on the boat to go SWIM WITH DOLPHINS!!!!!! What a beautiful day!

Two days later, we went to Havana which is an incredible city that is just crying for help. The town has so much potential- probably the most beautiful architecture I've ever seen in my life but just falling apart. It's such a shame to see such beauty go to waste. We spent the entire day touring old and new Havana. I wonder sometimes why I live in such a frigid climate, but realize that we can't have it all. Yes Montreal is iced over more than half the year, but at least I'm not on food rations living in a home that should be condemned. Hopefully Fidel's brother will turn Cuba around.

On a higher note, we danced the night away every single night! We met some fantastic people on the resort who partied with us the whole week. Yes I definitely indulged and was on an unlimited Pina Colada diet, but I came back 2.4 lbs lighter! I am now 2.2 lbs away from ONDERLAND. These last ten lbs feel like they've been taking forever to shed. TOM is back, so this week will obviously not be the week I hit the below 200 mark. When I start to think negatively like this I have to keep reminding myself just how well I've done and how far I've come since February. I'm almost 45 lbs lighter and counting!

On yet another high note I'll share a little story. About 6-7 years ago, I made my first online purchase. At the time, plus sized clothing hadn't yet made the change it had. The options available in Canada were not as vast as in the U.S. Plus sized clothing here forced us into a style well beyond our years. Sequins & Floral patterns on a teen? I had ordered a pair of white jeans from a clothing store that specialized in 14+ clothes for a younger crowd. I always had it in my head that american clothes were made large, so ordered a size lower than I was at the time.

My parcel finally arrived, and I eagerly jumped out of my clothes to try on my new pants. The tears started to fall: I couldn't get the jeans up past my knees. I had been planning outfits around these pants. I'll never forget this moment. Was I really that big? Maybe they sent the wrong size?

I started getting rid of some of my "fat clothes" this week end. As I near the back of my closet, the white pants make their appearance. They've been with me through 3 moves and I've always told myself that one day I'll get in them which is why I've held on to them for so long. I was about to toss them into the donation bag without even trying them on. I just thought about all the other times I had tried them on only to be disapointed. I thought to myself, what the hell, just try 'em on. To my surprise and utter amazement, the jeans are WAY TOO BIG now!! The tears started to fall again, only this time out of sheer joy!

On this note, I'll bid adieu and will report back once I've hit ONDERLAND.