Sunday, April 27, 2008

Can't help but feel disapointed

So I did it. I had my biggest gain. I'm up 2 lbs this week. Ok, now that that's out in the open, it's time to kick some butt this week! I'm not too upset with the gain as it was expected. I lost 7.4 lbs last week, and my leader told me to expect a gain this week as that kind of loss was just too much for a week. I thought I'd prove her wrong and lose again this week, but my body just didn't want to hear it. I worked out every single day, I ate 1 point of food less per day, and even used my points on healthier options. All in all I shouldn't be upset because I'm still 5 lbs lighter than I was two weeks ago. I just can't help but feel sorry for myself. Oh and did I mention it was my T.O.M too? Yup, the water-retaining enemy is "in da house".

I have to redo my measurements next week for my bridesmaid dress. My measurements were last done in January so it hopefully will be exciting to see the new numbers! The wedding is only in December, but my friend is having the gowns made in the Philippines so they have to be done well in advance. I'm hoping that there will need to be some major alterations done at the end of November! That still gives me some time to trim down significantly and not be the fatty in the skinny bridal party.

All I've ever wanted is to not stand out. To not be that fat girl. To not be the different one. I'm of Polish/Irish descent. You couldn't have a lighter complexion! Growing up, most of my friends were of mediterranean backgrounds. I've always been: the blonde in the group of brunettes. The whitey who couldn't tan if their life depended on it. The short one. And now for the one I've hated my entire life: The fat girl.

I'm tired of being her. I'm tired of being the fat friend. I just want to fit in. I don't want to stand out, and I certainly don't want to carry that lable! I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. So far I have not cheated at all. Every time I think of stepping off and indulging, I always remind myself that this is just delaying the process.

The most fantastic quote I heard this week was this:

What you eat in private is what you wear in public

Now say that isn't food for thought!

Thank you to all that have stopped by. I really appreciate your kind words and I hope that we can learn from eachother and keep eachother pumped. Writing out my sentiments has proven to be really therapeutic.

5 comments:

Carolyn said...

Rocking post!
Don't worry about a gain like that.. my stats show a CLEAR gain every 4 weeks.. surprised, eh?
You're doing so freaking well, I'm so impressed! Some of your problems this week though hon MIGHT have stemmed from the fact that you DIDN"T eat those points... sounds stupid, but if you backtrack on my blog, you'll see the frustration I was goign through that dind't break until I ate my AP's and FP's for a week.. and lost like 3 lbs. You need to fuel your 'weight loss tank', so to say. Always (I can't stress this enough) ALWAYS eat your points. NO MATTER WHAT. YOu'll lose more, guarenteed!!!
But good for you on the healthy choices!! YOU ROCK!

Tully said...

Oh my god I love that quote. I am such a private eater. That will be great to remember every time I sit in my bedroom with a block of chocolate!

Gosh you are ging to be looking smokin' by the wedding in December! What colour is the dress, what style? Ohhh I love dresses.

Sorry about the gain, but hopefully it is just TOM and you'll get a big loss next week.

Christa D said...

I love the title of your blog! That comment p*ssed me off so much every time I heard it...I mean I lost 30 lbs, how much did my face weigh before this journey? You are doing awesome!

Natasha said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog =)
Allot of us can relate to not wanting to be "the fat girl." Your doing great, don't let the small gain get you down. It will come right off plus more! Great quote too!

I'll follow along in your journey as well. Good luck!

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